We believe that friends have our backs and that friendships will remain strong. In some instances, not everyone that we befriend is right for us. These type of friends are often referred to as toxic friends. Toxic friends tend to have their own agenda and cause emotional pain. Luckily, toxic friends are easy to spot. These are four warning signs to find out if your friendship or friend is toxic and how to fix it:
Think about how you and your friend usually act together and how frequently you guys talk. If you notice that your friend is paying less attention to you or even paying more attention to others, this might be a sign of trouble. Distance always means that something is wrong, but the reasoning behind it may not be so simple. Distance can mean they need space, you have offended them, or they have not found a way to tell you that you have hurt them. Friendship is not one-sided and the best thing you can do is confront your friend about it and talk things through to clear the air. Confronting your friend about this problem will not make you seem needy. If you talk to your friend about this and they have a bad attitude about it or put you down for it, then this friendship may be toxic. A good friend always listens.
2. Acting Differently
There are many variations of this. Think about how your friend normally acts when she is with you. Changing can sometimes be a good thing. If they have a “mean-streak” and start acting “nicer,” then this is an acceptable change. A toxic friend is someone who starts to change by acting out, having an unpleasant attitude, or simply acting differently to impress others. Acting differently can mean that they are not the same person you originally befriended. As a result of this, they can be seen as a perfect stranger to you and could potentially be a bad influence. If they are acting like a different person around you or other people, ask them why they’re acting differently. Determining whether or not they are a toxic friend is based on the reaction to this question. If they avoid the question or continue acting like someone else, then you should watch out.
3. Telling secrets
A big part of a toxic friend is whether or not they spill your secrets. Keep track of who you tell your secrets to, since this will surely come in handy. If you notice that other people are aware of your secrets, then make sure to confront your friends. You have to confront them in order to see who has been leaking your secrets. A good friend will never let your secrets be heard, because they have your trust and are responsible for maintaining that trust by keeping your secrets.
4. Boyfriend Troubles
A huge warning sign of a toxic friend is if she changes her personality for a boyfriend. Your friend has a boyfriend, but is she acting differently now that she is with him? Take notice of any behavioral changes. Is she any different than before? Is she distant? Talk to your friend about this. If she overreacts and believes that you are jealous, calmly talk with her. If she still thinks you are being jealous, it might be an indicator that the friendship is on the rocks. A boyfriend and a friend accepts you for who you are, which means a boy, or anyone else, should never change someone or ruin a good friendship.