4 Warning Signs of a Toxic Friend

We believe that friends have our backs and that friendships will remain strong. In some instances, not everyone that we befriend is right for us. These type of friends are often referred to as toxic friends. Toxic friends tend to have their own agenda and cause emotional pain. Luckily, toxic friends are easy to spot. These are four warning signs to find out if your friendship or friend is toxic and how to fix it:

1. Distance

Think about how you and your friend usually act together and how frequently you guys talk.  If you notice that your friend is paying less attention to you or even paying more attention to others, this might be a sign of trouble. Distance always means that something is wrong, but the reasoning behind it may not be so simple. Distance can mean they need space, you have offended them, or  they  have not found a way to tell you that you have hurt them. Friendship is not one-sided and the best thing you can do is confront your friend about it and talk things through to clear the air. Confronting your friend about this problem will not make you seem needy.  If you talk to your friend about this and they have a bad attitude about it or put you down for it, then this friendship may be toxic. A good friend always listens.

2. Acting Differently

There are many variations of this. Think about how your friend normally acts when she is with you. Changing can sometimes be a good thing. If they have a “mean-streak” and start acting “nicer,” then this is an acceptable change. A toxic friend is someone who starts to change by acting out, having an unpleasant attitude, or simply acting differently to impress others. Acting differently can mean that they are not the same person you originally befriended.  As a result of this, they can be seen as a perfect stranger to you and could potentially be a bad influence. If they are acting like a different person around you or other people, ask them why they’re acting differently.  Determining whether or not they are a toxic friend is based on the reaction to this question. If they avoid the question or continue acting like someone else, then you should watch out.

3. Telling secrets

A big part of a toxic friend is whether or not they spill your secrets. Keep track of who you tell your secrets to, since this will surely come in handy. If you notice that other people are aware of your secrets, then make sure to confront your friends. You have to confront them in order to see who has been leaking your secrets. A good friend will never let your secrets be heard, because they have your trust and are responsible for maintaining that trust by keeping your secrets.

4. Boyfriend Troubles

A huge warning sign of a toxic friend is if she changes her personality for a boyfriend. Your friend has a boyfriend, but is she acting differently now that she is with him? Take notice of any behavioral changes. Is she any different than before? Is she distant? Talk to your friend about this. If she overreacts and believes that you are jealous,  calmly talk with her. If she still thinks you are being jealous, it might be an indicator that the friendship is on the rocks.  A boyfriend and a friend accepts you for who you are, which means a boy, or anyone else,  should never change someone or ruin a good friendship.

Latinitas Dia de Las Madres Contest Winners

We were especially touched this year by the quality of entries to Latinitas’ 2012 Dia de las Madres writing/video/art contest.  Winners of this regional contest were awarded free passes to Fiesta Texas (San Antonio, TX) and Schlitterbahn water park.  Applicants were as young as 9 years old and as old as high school.  Girls presented “great mothers” in their lives through writing, video or illustration.  A marketing team from Texas State University’s communications department created the contest parameters, reached out to schools for submissions and vetted entries for the following winners…

My Mom by Celie Contreras

My mom is special to me because she cares about me in every way. My mom supports me in everything I do, like sports and school. I love my mom in lots of many ways. My mom is a hard working woman that a lot of people like. My mom tells me that she loves me and when she tells me that… I cherish those moments and say, “I love you too mom!” Sometimes my mom and I fight and argue but right after that minute we love each other again.  My mom adores me and I adore my mom more.  My mom buys me a lot of clothes, food to eat and water to drink and most of all she loves me! My mom spends a lot of time with me, so in the future when my sibling leave my mom and I can spend even more time together when I’m an only child.  Every day I wake up she says, “I love you little one,” and when she says that I smile big, so my mom knows I’m happy! When my mom looks at me I always think she’s going to say something about my eyes, but she says, “Celie you need to clean your glasses again,” after she says that I give her my glasses to clean. When I put on my glasses … now she says, Celie your eyes are beautiful!”  Then night time comes, she tucks me in and puts the blankets over me and gives me a goodnight kiss. In the morning she wakes me up and turns the light on and says, “Get dressed for school…” all I think about is ahh I love when my mom says those words! When it comes to the dinner table she always tells Carlie, Daniel, my dad and I to use our manners properly! She always says, “Are you saving that for later?” That is only if we have food on our face or clothes that we didn’t know about! While we eat dinner we always talk about how our day was and what we did today. When we talk we laugh and giggle about the one funny thing that happened. Even though you think parents can be embarrassing my mom is actually kind of cool to be around when my friends are over. That’s why I love my mother with all of my heart!!!!

My Mother by Marisa Flores

My mom has been an influence in my life by …Teaching me and telling me I’m good at sports, school, and art. She tells me to go to college in order to get a good job. My mom supports me in school and sports .My mom cares about me, and tells
me that she loves me .My mom helps me with everything . My mom helps me practice, takes me to practice, and goes to all of my games. My mom takes me shopping and buys stuff for my bed room, and school, summer and outdoor clothes.
My mom tells me I’m pretty.  My mom tells me never to do any drugs that it will mess your whole life up. Sometimes my mom and I may argue but I know she still loves me.  My mom tells me to listen to my teachers and my elders.  My mom tells me I should never give up or quit something I’ve already started.  My mom always encourages me to save my money. My mom tells me don’t change for anyone .My mom tells me don’t ever quit dreaming .My mom tells me that I am beautiful no matter what anyone says. My mom says everything is possible. I have the best mom ever even though we fight.  My mom tells me goodnight every night. My mom buys mom buys me everything I want for Christmas.  My mom understands all my problems.  My mom takes me to the dentist, pays my phone bill, and bought me a DS.  My mom let’s me have my own room.  My mom can trust me.  My mom is nice to all my friends. My mom loves all my ideas. My mom helps me through everything.  My mom always takes me out for dinner. My mom always cares for me if I’m sick. My mom always agrees with me.  Even though my mom and I have been through a lot of ups and downs … I still love her.

My Amazing Sister by Emerald Espino

My sister, Vanessa Marie Espino, is my role model.  Why? She is the strongest, prettiest, bravest, caring, person that I know.  She is strong because she has bills to pay, food to buy and cook, clean the house, and she has to care my brothers and me and her own kids.  She is very strong and I don’t know how she does it. She’s amazing!  She always tells me that we have our ups and downs and that we just have to be strong and wish for the best. She is like so strong and I love her and I feel like she doesn’t know that and I feel like I don’t do enough. She is also pretty. She is pretty with or without  makeup or dressing up and doing her hair. She is herself. She is also the bravest person I know because she is not afraid of making sacrifices to make our lives better. All she wants is for us to behappy. And last but not least she is caring. She is caring because right away when she knows that we have received our child support check, she takes care of our needs first.  She doesn’t say, “Well no let me go do this first for myself or her family.” No she goes right ahead and puts us first and let’s us get what we need.  When we don’t have our child support she gives us money so we can have what we need.  She gave my brother and me money for my fieldtrip when we didn’t have any money.  And another thing is that she is taking care of my brothers and me because nobody else wants to.   She lets us live in her house for free.  She is taking care of us when my mom and dad should be doing this.  She is like a mom to me.  She takes care of me, my brothers, her kids, her boyfriend, and herself. That is a lot and I don’t know how she does it.  I really appreciate what she has done for us.  I hope that when I grow up I will be just like her.  These are all the reasons why my sister is my role model and a great mom.

Mi Madre by Maria Isabel Gonzalez-Segura

Yo   tengo a  alguien  que siempre  estará  en mi  corazón  y ella  es  mi hermana  Elizabeth.  Ella es  fuerte  y lucha  por  mí. Es la  mejor  hermana que  he  querido. Es fuerte  hace  un esfuerzo  por  sus  4 hijos  y mas a mi. También le ayudo con  sus  niño pero  yo  estoy chiquita y  dice  que no  me preocupe. también mi  hermana es  inteligente  porque me  ayuda  con
mi  tarea  y con  mis  problemas. Me hace  pensar  porque si  hace  mucho por  mi  yo la  quiero  mucho y  se  siente como   que  ella era mi  mama. Gracias  a ella  mi  vida es  feliz.  Mi hermana  es  valiente porque cuando  yo  estoy
enferma  ella  me dice  hermanita  ponte los zapatos  vamos  ir al  hospital  y en  esos  momentos me  hace  llorar porque
si  me  quiere y quiere que yo este  sana. Para que siempre  este  feliz. Lo mejor  de  mi hermana  es  que ES  LA  MEJOR  EN  EL  MUNDO. Ella era  la primera  en  bañarme  yo  la  amo y  siempre  la  voy a  querer   mi hermana es  mi  mejor  hermana  y  mejor amiga  Te quiero mi  hermanita chula.

 

Music Review: Jessy J’s ‘Hot Sauce’

Jessica Spinella, also known as Jessy J, is an emerging Latina musician.

Her father is from Mexico and her mother is from Texas. She began playing the piano and the saxophone at a very young age and went on to studying jazz at the University of Southern California. After graduating, she toured with artists such as Michael Bublé.

‘Hot Sauce’ is her third album, which displays more of a Latino vibe. Paul Brown, a smooth jazz legend, is the producer for the majority of the album. Together, they blend several sounds and rhythms, creating an electric performance. The album also features several musicians such as Joe Sample, Harvey Mason and Gregg Karukas.

‘Remember The Night’ is the first track on the album and it showcases Jessy J playing the saxophone. It is an upbeat track that transports you to the streets of Latin America. Tracks such as ‘Hot Sauce’ make you connect to Jessy J’s Latin roots, and the salsa feeling that compliments it gives you an urge to dance. There are certain tracks that have a slower beat, such as ‘Rio Grande.’ It starts out with smooth sounds and harmonizes between two saxophones.

This album is full of great smooth jazz. For those who prefer some sort of vocals, have a listen to ‘In A Sentimental Mood.’ With Saunders Sermon on vocals, this song is fascinating and extremely catchy. If you have never been a fan of jazz, give this album a chance; you might change your mind. It’s a great album to have on your iPod, and Jessy J is a musician to keep an eye on.

Preguntale a Julianna: Advice About Boys

Question: There is this boy I really like at school. I want to tell him I like him, but I’m scared he might not like me. What do I do?

Advice: How will the boy ever know how you feel about him if you don’t tell him? Don’t be afraid of what the answer may be. Tell him about your feelings towards him. Who knows? Maybe his response will be exactly what you are hoping for. If it isn’t, don’t sweat it! There are plenty of fish in the sea. The important thing is that you express your feelings.

Question: I really like this boy that lives in my neighborhood. His name is Pablo. What should I do???

Advice: You can ask him if he would like to hang out after school or during the weekend. You can say, “Hey since we live in the same neighborhood, would you like to hang out sometime?” It would be a great way to get him to notice you and a way to get to know him. Good Luck!

Question: I like this boy. I talk to him when my mom is not watching. She says not to talk to him. It’s just talking on the phone!!! What should I do so I could talk to him?

Advice: You should talk to your mom. Ask her why she doesn’t want you to talk to him. After hearing her answer, tell her about him. Share with her what kind of personality he has and why you like talking to him. Hopefully, she will see why you insist on talking to him over the phone and will allow you to continue talking to him.

Art Gallery: I Love My Flaws

These girls are proud to embrace themselves completely, flaws and all!  In this photo essay, they showcase their own beauty and pride in who they are. 

 



 

 

 

 

Art Gallery: Shoe Photography

Take a look at some of the photos that our girls took from Club Latinitas showcasing their shoes!  Their pictures show where they have been and where they are going.

 

Careers: Border Patrol Agent

Name: Rose Miranda
Position & Title: Border Patrol Agent
Employer: United States Border Patrol

What are some of your job responsibilities?
To deter anything associated with terrorism, counter narcotics, illegal immigration and human trafficking. Mainly to deter illegal entries into the United States by patrolling the middle areas between the ports of entries. We look for signs, tracks and we apprehend. I specifically work with minors (unaccompanied undocumented migrant children). I make sure they are fed and cared for in our custody before sending them safely home.

What did you do to prepare for this career?
No specifics, when I passed my oral board there was no going back.  I started swimming and running. (even though I don’t like water I knew I had to work hard.)

What is your favorite part of your job?
I have a fulfilling career that allows me to always stay busy and active. My first two years were spent riding on ATV’s. That was a lot of fun. That’s also the reason why I look forward to go back in the field. I was in the field 6 years and now I’m in the office. I work with relations and PR with Mexican officials and organizations. The great thing about Border Patrol is that I love any position I’m in and there are always lots of opportunities.

What is the most challenging part of your job?
Scheduling. My daughter was in middle school when I started and as a single parent that was tough. But I’m mobile and I made it work. I look forward to growing and I believe you have to be a little mobile, there is nothing to stop you. My family was surprised and safety was a concern. Until this day I have been safe but can’t share many stories. My daughter is oblivious to what I do sometimes.

What advice would you give to help a girl prepare for a job like yours?
Work hard join the explorer program, have good grades and stay out of trouble. The explorer program goes over  scenarios, techniques, PT,  and it gives a general idea of how the academy will be like. Learn the chain of command.  http://www.cbp.gov/xp/cgov/careers/explorer_program/explorer.xml

What do you do for fun when you aren’t working?
I like to stay active, so I go to the gym. I also read, clean and relax. Sometimes I even volunteer with Latinitas. If I can get a group of people, I like to hike. And of course, travel to Austin.

What is your most memorable work experience?
It happened during my first two years on ATV.  It was at night. We were all on ATV’s and we got to work with air support. It was awesome because they were up there. The chopper lit me up and it was a great active experience. I also loved that we were such a small group of people on ATV’s and we were really close.

How have you enjoyed your career and where do you see yourself in 10-15 years?
Definitely still in the Border Patrol. I want to be in Washington (Headquarters) one day. I’d also like to pursue a Masters degree at some point.

How is being a female in a male dominated career changed you or influenced you?
Like in any job, you must adapt. After the academy, I became more independent and more aware.
You do change. There was some insecurity, you may be afraid to be by yourself in the desert and have some hesitation. But in the end it’s your job and you always have fellow agents to rely on and who rely on you. It is definitely a group effort.

Chica Who Cares: Laura Saldivar

Meet a modern day superwoman. A Senior in high school, Laura Saldivar has a resume most college grads wish they had. Before the age of 17, she implemented teen driving safety programs in Illinois through several educational outreach programs. As an advocate for service learning, the implementation of several safe driving outreach programs, like the Jacobs Safety Initiative, has helped reduce the number of youth fatalities in motor vehicle accidents.  The Jacobs Safety Initiative led to the creation of another safe driving program in Qatar, a country which, according to Laura, has the “second highest car accident rate per capita in the world.” With an impressive and extensive resume, the road towards success has not been so easy. “Acquiring support from administrative staff has been difficult”, says Laura, but she advices teens to “start searching, go for it, and don’t be afraid.” With hard work, passion, and determination, any teen can follow in Laura’s footsteps and be the next modern Superwoman. Here’s what she had to say when asked about her accomplishments, dreams and advice for teens:

1. What influenced you to become heavily involved with driving educational outreach programs?
With car crashes becoming the number one killer of teens I felt it was imperative to create prevention programs in my community. If I am able to save just one life I have done my job. Also, having a parent that is a driver’s education teacher, I have seen firsthand the impact car crashes have on families.

2. By being involved with so many organizations, what valuable lessons have you learned? How have they helped shape who you are today?
With being involved in a variety of groups like Youth Service America’s Youth Council, I have been able to gain multiple life skills. I can now write grants and budgets for projects, public speak, create presentations, and have self confidence. Before starting my service work, I was a shy student and service-learning is really what broke me out of my shell. The opportunities that have been an outcome of my work are truly incredible. I am able to travel the country, I helped to start a teen safe driving program in Asia, have been a keynote speaker, helped to write a civic blueprint for my state, and have had my own TV show all before the age of 17. My different boards have helped make me the leader I am today and have helped me to spread my message of teen safe driving to a broader audience. I am now able to help other schools around the country start their own programs and also gain the support of my fellow board members. The networks formed on national youth councils help to sustain and better youth programs.

3. You’re a busy young woman with an impressive resume, how do you handle the stress and find time to do it all? Any time management secrets?
With all of my time commitments I always keep a planner by my side. This not only has helped me keep track of my service work but has also helped me a lot in school. It keeps me very organized and if I miss a day of school for a service event I always let my teacher know in advance. In addition, I always make timelines for projects. As silly as it sounds, it helps my projects to run smoothly and it helps me to stay on track with project planning. It is small organizational tricks like this that help keep me afloat!

4.What are your plans after high school?
After high school I think it is only fitting for me to continue my safe driving work! I hope to attend the University of Illinois and create my own major in Community Leadership and Civic Engagement. I hope to one day open my own center for car crash victims and to work for either the National Safety Council or the Department of Transportation.

5. What advice would you give to girls who want to implement an educational outreach program and events at their local high school?
For starting a project in your community it is very important to start small! First, determine a need within your community and a find a group of youth who are also passionate about this issue. Next, it is important to find an adult sponsor or mentor who will help guide and support your program. Since your program will be primarily youth led, it is important to determine what resources are available and what community partnerships you can form. These partners can help you measure your results of impact and help to sustain your program for following years. Youth Service America is also a great resource when it comes to funding and finding different service opportunities. Their online newsletter contains a variety of service grants that youth can fill out. Most projects can be free and be community donated items. It might also be beneficial to include different classes at your school to help you solve the issue. (Ex. Safe Driving: Business Class- brochures, Math-Statistics, Art- safe driving posters, band- safe driving school song, drivers education-create PSAs, etc.)

6. How can other Latinitas become more involved with the community?
Another way to get involved within your community is to log onto gysd.org. GYSD is one of Youth Service America’s major projects called Global Youth Service Day. This day is the largest service event in the world and reaches over 100 countries. By logging on to their website, you can find local projects in your area that you can help out with on April 20-22, 2012. This website also contains an online toolkit that will help guide you in the creation of your own projects. This year I am helping the Illinois Students Against Destructive Decisions Student Advisory Board to implement a project called Dome Shift. We are inviting all of the SADD chapters in the state to a series of workshops on different issues and then letting participants meet with their representatives. All in all, when joining different nonprofits, they can help support your program and train you to learn even more.
Laura Saldivar, photo courtesy from Discusawards.com.

Being Smart Rules

Careers in Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math (STEM) are booming and on the rise, with an estimated increase of 20.5 million jobs between 2010 and 2020. While we hear a lot of news about the poor state of our economy  and the job market, STEM fields offer that glimmer of hope for a brighter future and better economy. With science and math opening many doors, it would be easy to assume that many intelligent chicas are jumping on the bandwagon, right? Wrong.

Despite the rapid growth, according to the United States Department of Commerce’s Economics and Statistics Administration, women “hold less than 25 percent of STEM jobs.” What a boys club! What causes women to have such a low percentage? According to the same study, there are several factors taking place, such as “a lack of female role models, gender stereotyping, and less family-friendly flexibility in the STEM fields.” When it came to confidence, the American Sociological Association found men were more confident than women in the field of engineering.

Minority women consist of “less than one in 10 employed scientists and engineers.”  Girl Scout Research Institute found: “Hispanic girls say they have just as much interest in STEM as Cauca­sian girls, but they have had less exposure to STEM, less adult support for pursuing STEM fields, lower academic achievement, and greater awareness of gender barriers in STEM professions.” This means that chicas in STEM need a strong support group. It is time to quit reading how bad the situation is for Hispanic women in STEM and start doing something about it. We can open many doors by using these three simple words: si se puede/ Yes, you can.

With a si se puede attitude,  Jo Marie Duran found her inspiration to explore STEM by being involved  with the Health Professionals of America (HPA) at her school. “Being interested in the medical area was very easy because I always loved to help people and what better way to help by being a health professional. Knowing that you have the ability to learn how to save someone’s life is exciting and scary…They  [scientists] require courage and a sense of confidence in what they do… I never thought I had the chance to gain that medical mentality without being in my health profession program.”

Here are a few resources to start your STEM adventure. Check them out:

STEM Connector and Popular STEM Opportunities.
STEM Connector is the ultimate search engine for students, teachers, and parents interested in STEM opportunities. Programs like the Health Professionals of America and Health Occupation Students of America (HOSA) are two out of numerous opportunities nationwide that give a chica that extra boost to succeed and be more involved in a STEM related area. Programs like NASA and FIRST are paving the way for STEM in teens. NASA has numerous opportunities for future engineers and scientists. On the other hand, FIRST (For Inspiration and Recognition of Technology) is revolutionizing the field of robotics. Dean Kamen, founder of FIRST, states FIRST creates a “culture by creating a world where science and technology are celebrated and where young people dream of becoming science and technology leaders.” Fortunately, FIRST is a nationwide after school program, which means there numerous hosts, teams, and events throughout the country. Check the local listings for any team or event.

Girl oriented programs are on the rise.
Nerds are cool. There’s even a female nerd movement, created by Nerd Girls, where it is chic to be a geek.  Girl Scouts do more than sell delicious cookies, they are heavily involved with STEM.  To top it off, NASA’s Women in STEM High School Scholars (WISH) is a girl-only program dedicated to work on a NASA mission alongside other participants, NASA engineers, and NASA scientists, via a virtual and onsite program. Want to learn more? Thankfully, the American Association of University Women provides a list of resources for women and girls interested in being involved with girl-oriented organizations. Chicas unite!

Check out local library and school clubs.
Going out of town to take advantage of STEM opportunities may not always be easy. Local libraries, schools, and non-profit organizations offer workshops and camps year round. Some schools offer magnet programs, like HPA/HOSA.  Leave the “I can’t find it” attitude behind, the opportunities are out there.

Don’t limit yourself to just one area.
The beauty of STEM is that it is HUGE. Broaden the horizon and avoid falling into one area. The stereotype of STEM jobs solely being scientists, mathematicians, and lonely nerds is long gone. STEM is booming and it is time for girls everywhere, not just Hispanic women, to increase the percentage of women in STEM. Yes, we can!

Tech Girl: Facebook Protection

Staying in the loop of things has become as easy as logging onto Facebook. There, you can find out what your friends from school areNetSafety up to and what’s on their mind.

Nowadays, networking sites like Facebook serve as our main source of our information and communication. Through the power of the Internet, people can get access to personal information like what you are doing, where you are and whom you are with…if you post it.

Though Facebook is meant to be fun, it must be used with caution and responsibility. We all love posting pictures on Facebook, but we rarely stop and think about who is able to view our pictures. You never know who is out there searching your name and looking at your profile, so it is necessary that you are aware of the dangers Facebook brings.

When posting a picture, keep three things in mind:

  • What does this picture suggest?
  • Does it give away any personal information, such as location?
  • Could there be a negative response after I post this picture?

Those are just a few things to keep in mind before uploading a picture. Other things to consider: be aware of who your friends are. People with bad intentions could be lurking around your profile pretending to be someone they are not. Your parents probably warned you to be careful online, but once you have had an account for several years, you may forget about the dangers that are always around.

If you have doubts about posting a picture, the best thing to do would be to keep it off the Internet. Once something is on the web, you can never erase it. Several people have had their risqué pictures land online, whether intentional or not. And certain attention can damage your self-esteem.

Sometimes you might think that a picture is harmless, but it could be sending people the wrong message about you. Make sure you know what the picture will represent.

Be careful on the Internet and you won’t regret it in the future.