On paper, Cecilia is an ordinary Latina. She was born and raised in Peru, given a common Latin Catholic name, and raised speaking Spanish. Her eyes and hair are long and dark, and yet when Cecilia—now a University of Texas at Austin student—attends a Latino sponsored party, she is the only one who fails to receive the standard greeting. Instead of cheek kisses and Spanish, she gets a hand shake and English.

Identity

Cecilia is set apart by the fact that she is Chinese. Her dark eyes are almond shaped, and her long dark hair bears the characteristically sleek and straight look possessed by most Asians. When she speaks Spanish, people do a double take, sometimes a triple take, and others just stare. It doesn’t take long for the aforementioned party hosts to recognize their blunder, and accept her as their own, but Cecilia is tired of having to explain herself to everyone she meets.

“I tell them I’m Asian,” she says, “but it’s just because I don’t want them to ask me my whole background…I explain this probably once a day every day, so I just don’t want to go over the process again, you know?”

To further complicate Cecilia’s identity conundrum, she has recently obtained her American citizenship, making her a dual citizen of both Peru and America. Though she is undoubtedly Chinese by race, her ethnicity is hazy.

“I feel like I’m everything” she says, and pauses “except American, because I just became an American citizen.”

She clarifies further that her inability to connect with the American ethnicity stems from the fact that she feels it has been mixed to the point of having no original, or set culture.  But Cecilia emphatically asserts that she feels only a distant connection to the Asian community, and it is the Latino community where she feels most at home.

“Since I grew up in [the Latino] culture I feel like we can talk about the same things and when I’m joking around with them they understand that I’m joking and they don’t take it personally,” says Cecilia.

Peruvian History

Cecilia’s situation, though unusual in the US, is not uncommon in Peru. In the 1850s Peru welcomed massive waves of Chinese immigrants who would ultimately replace the existing slave labor and create a lasting influence on the Peruvian culture along with the Japanese, and other Asian immigrant groups.  In fact, Cecilia tells me, there are so many Asians in Peru that various Asian words have entered the Peruvian vernacular.  “Minpao” for instance is the Chinese word for bread. Peruvians use it instead of the Spanish, “pan.” “Chifa,” the Chinese word for eat has come to mean Chinese Restaurant to Peruvians. “Vamos al chifa,” or “let’s go to the Chinese restaurant” is a common phrase on account of the frequency with which one encounters such restaurants, especially in the city of Lima where Cecilia grew up.

But Asian influence extends beyond the cultural, and goes so far as to influence government and public policy. From 1990 to 2000 Alberto Fujimori, of Japanese descent, served as President of Peru. His legacy is one of equal praise and criticism, but he maintained a constant majority approval rating throughout his presidency. Positively known for eradicating terrorism within the country, and returning Peru to a state of economic stability, he created a right wing political movement known as Fujimorism that is focused around these issues. This movement continues today, and is carried out by his daughter Keiko, herself a congresswoman and presidential contender, proving that Asian influence and tolerance in Peru remains strong.

Mixture of Cultures

Knowing this, it becomes obvious that the face of Latin America is not always the one we recognize.  Returning again to Cecilia, we are presented with the makings of an important case for the Latina identity. She suggests that the qualifications for being Latina do not rest solely on the shoulders of race, but instead fall within the bounds of ethnicity and culture.  Though she feels that she is Asian, Peruvian, and American, each of these labels has its limitations in identifying Cecilia. However, none can deny her a place among Latinas.

Religion can be a touchy subject, but many Latinos are no strangers to religion. Sometimes it can be difficult to separate cultural traditions from religious celebrations. For example, quinceañeras are a popular tradition in the Latina culture. The core of the quinceañera tradition is rooted in church service by marking the transition from niña to señorita as well as the commitment to GOD, but over the years it has shifted from being a commitment to God to throwing a memorable fiesta to commemorate womanhood and a 15th birthday. This fiesta centered shift has caused many Latinos to see quinceañeras, especially teens, as a cultural tradition instead of a religious one.

Where do religious and cultural traditions start, separate, or end?
It doesn’t matter what religion you are: Catholic, Protestant, or Christian, Latinos love their Diosito and is embedded in our Latino culture. This begs the question, are Latinas religious because they want be or because they are Latina? Culture, as defined by Merriam Webster’s Dictionary, is “the customary beliefs, social forms, and material traits of a group.” Everyone knows that being a Latino is a culture; however, it can be said that being religious, in the Latino culture, is as social form.

Take Leticia for example, her faith isn’t something she came across on her own, it was something she was taught since childhood. Leticia Gonzalez says she grew up going to church as child. “It was never a question. It was just something that had to be done,” states Leticia. And now, even after not having gone to church for over three years, she still lights a candle for the Virgin Mary every Sunday. “I don’t know why I do, I just know I should and I can’t help it,” claims Leticia.

Ashley Tate, a multi-racial Latina understands how it feels to have religion encouraged by her family. “Whenever I spent the holidays with my mom’s family they were not only very Mexican, but also very religious. I always thought it was weird because my mom never goes to church.” Ashley says she considers herself Christian, but whenever overcome with grief she does the sign of the cross, a catholic practice. “I’m not confused by my faith, but doing the sign of the cross is something I’ve done since I was little, even when I didn’t understand why.”

Regardless of why a Latina is religious or if she is religious at all,  it cannot be ignored that the church is no stranger in the Latino culture.

For most of my life, I assumed I was white because I was only looking at the color of my skin. People even called me “white girl” because I had no accent and looked, well, “white” to them. I even remember the time a group of Hispanic girls formed a circle around me and called me “gringa” until I ran off and cried.

Was I not one of them?
While I was born in America, both of my parents were born in Brasil. They were immigrants only here for 2 years before I was born. They came to America legally and worked hard to become stable in a place where they didn’t understand or speak the language. Although they had pretty stable lives in Brasil, they only came to America because my older brother needed open heart surgery and the Children’s Hospital in Boston was the only place successfully performing this procedure on children at the time.

Struggle with racial identity:
Because my only experience in America was as a born-citizen, I never thought I was different. Yet, it was the reactions and words from both Latino and non-Latinos that made me feel like an outsider. It wasn’t until white people told me “I wasn’t white” and latinos told me “I wasn’t latino” that made me face a decade long struggle with my racial identity.

My struggle started to get more confusing as I reached middle school. When I took tests or filled out applications, I saw few options for race and “white” felt like the “right” choice. I would look down at my arm and say, “I guess I’m white then.”

It didn’t occur to me until I took my first trip to South America that it wasn’t actually my skin tone that defined ethnicity or which bubble I would color in on paperwork. For the first time, I visited Rio de Janeiro, my family’s hometown. Although I never spent a day there before this first visit, I felt like I was finally home. The people embraced me and I felt like I could really be myself. There is a huge feeling of community as everyone knows and interacts with their neighbors and smiles are in abundance. It was the first time I realized I was proud to be Brazilian. I finally understood then what it meant to have culture.

Skin “privilege”:
Having white skin and fairly straight hair meant I could have “skin color privilege”. While I used that to my benefit, I sometimes look back at how awful it really was to use my skin tone as a way to fit in and move forward. Frankly, it’s sad. Because of my appearance, I could easily avoid judgment from people in certain neighborhoods or in certain settings. Of course, this also meant I was exposed to a lot of the racism that people would say didn’t apply to me because I was an “exception”.

I’m the child of two immigrants from South America. They struggled as much as any immigrant with dark skin and curly hair, but they had skin color privilege in America. Some could have easily assumed they were European, thus making them less like, what they referred to as, the “border hoppers”. It’s a shame that we live in a place where your background can easily make your life more difficult.

Embracing your cultura:
It took me a long time to understand how my race, my culture, my skin tone, and my appearance have played a role in how I got to where I am today. Once I realized who I really was and connected with my racial identity, I started filling out the right bubble on paperwork. I do this because we need to be properly represented. While the journey of understanding my identity is a long one, it’s been an empowering one so far. Between our traditions, our food, our dances, our music, and our passion for life, there is so much to be proud of. Our veins run warm with rich history and glory; our veins run warm with proud Latina blood.

Marie Hernandez has lived 10 miles away from Mexico her whole life. Growing up bilingual, Hernandez says sometimes she dreams in both Spanish and English. Chelsie Torres, who also grew up close to the Mexican- American border, said she’d rather speak English. David Gamboa said growing up with Spanish-speaking parents made it hard for him to understand English. According to National Public Radio, the language they choose to speak divides Latinos in America.

In a recent press release, ABC News and Univision have teamed up to create an English-language news network for Hispanics in the United States. According to The Los Angeles Times, Latinos make up 16 percent of the total population in the United States, a number that is projected to increase to 30 percent by 2050. Gamboa said he hopes this new collaboration can help him find an appreciation for English.

“I live, eat, breath the Spanish language,” he said. “But I know that if I cannot learn English my life in America will be much harder.” Hernandez said she hopes her Spanish-speaking relatives can tune in to the new network.

“I have it rather easy as a Latina,” she said. “I can speak English and Spanish fluently. Although I prefer Spanish because most my relatives speak it. I hope they can learn English through the new network. I also hope this can help break the gap between the language barrier of new Latino generations.”

Torres said both her paternal and maternal grandparents speak only Spanish. She says because she only speaks English she communicates with her grandparents through smiles and hand gestures. “It’s sad. I never learned Spanish and they never learned English,” she admits. “Now that we are both older it makes it harder to communicate.”

According to USA Today, more Spanish speakers are speaking English despite a steady influx of immigrants. “In Los Angeles County, the percentage of the Spanish-speaking population that has trouble with English slid from 21 percent in 2000 to 19.6 percent in 2005-07, the three years measured in the data released today. In El Paso, the share dropped from 32 percent to 28.5 percent,” according to USA Today.

Torres said if she cannot speak the language, she can at least know more about the culture. “I will make sure to tune in to the new network,” she said. “I will be able to understand what they are saying and learn more about my grandparents home. Hopefully, my grandparents can watch and learn more about my language.”

How do you represent your Latina culture when the native Spanish language does not run through your mouth? Last names such as Chavez, Diaz and Garcia are daily pronounced in a wide variety of accents– some emphasize “ía” while others smoothly articulate the way they roll their “r.”  While bilingualism is a common expectation in our Latinitas culture, Spanish doesn’t always run through the family tree.

Christina Marroquin was born into a family with a Mexican father and a Caucasian mother in Houston, Tx. Despite her mother’s lack of bilingualism, she managed to pick up a few words from Christina’s grandmother while helping her in the kitchen. At the age of two, Christina recalls her father attempting to teach her Spanish, but a different language other than English sounded funny and her giggles caused her father to eventually stop. However, now she says it would come in very handy considering she is the president of a Latina organization at her college campus at Texas State University.

“I’m especially self conscious now that I am the president of a Latina organization. I feel I’m not representing our culture and our group properly. I wonder if people look down on me or our group for having someone incompetent which is how I sometimes feel. I don’t feel uncomfortable around people speaking Spanish so much. I do know enough to often understand what is being said, but not enough to follow along and contribute. Sometimes I feel left out. There is always a little panicky moment when someone asks me something in Spanish and I have to sit and think and translate in my head. If they talk slow and enunciate well, I can somehow muddle along, but there is always that sense of anxiety.”

For individuals like Christina it is an honor to represent a minority group that is rapidly growing in the U.S. and bringing along its rich language and colorful culture.

“I absolutely love the Spanish language. It has a sort of music to it that is so beautiful to me. It is one of my greatest regrets that I am not a fluent Spanish speaker. The language is such an important connection to my culture and identity and I feel like I am missing out. I would feel absolutely no shame to speak Spanish if I could. I understand some people hesitate to speak it because people look down on it or think they only should speak English here in America. To me, it would make me proud,” Christina goes on to say.

Is there an imaginary line Hispanics draw among themselves to separate Americanized Latinos from natives? Sometimes divisions are created based on the fluency in which one speaks Spanish. It doesn’t necessarily mean they are neglecting their roots; it mainly has to deal with the generation and region in which they were born.

“I am 7/8 Mexican and I can’t prove it with the language. That’s disappointing because the older I get the more I feel a connection to that [Mexican] side and the language,” said Kim Bonan, a native from San Antonio, Tx.

As a child, Kim was never taught the Spanish language due to her parents having their hands full with work. However, her older siblings acquired bilingual skills from their grandmother who watched after them while their parents were away. By the time Kim was born, her grandma had aged and stopped babysitting her grandchildren. Since Kim did not send much time with someone who could speak to her in Spanish, she did not get to learn and practice the native tongue of her family.

“I haven’t ever received an insult about my Spanish mostly because I never spoke it out of fear. That fear started because I would say I was Hispanic, but that I didn’t speak Spanish and people would shoot me down. They would say that I wasn’t Hispanic that I was white. It made me not want to speak Spanish or even associate myself with my Mexican side,” recalls Kim.

Teresa Rodriguez, a Hispanic college student, was born in Virginia and never picked up Spanish. As a brunette with tan skin and brown eyes, it is often assumed she speaks Spanish, but instead receives funny looks at the sound of her accent.

“My parents do speak Spanish. They didn’t pass it down to me because I was born in Virginia and lived there for eight years. My mother thought we were going to stay there forever. Because of the location, my mom thought we would not have to learn it because not many people spoke Spanish,” said Teresa in her defense.

As a growing population in the United States it is essential Hispanics destroy the imaginary border they have built amongst themselves in order to unite. Somewhere along the way of generations and migration, language continues to transform. Why clash Hispanics vs. Hispanics based on the way one rolls their tongue? In the end, the mixture of roots and heritage link Latinitas together.