Breakups are hard. It’s even harder when it’s you and your best friend that are cutting ties. Whether it was a fight or you guys drifted apart because your interests changed, losing friends is a part of life. Of course, it’s a sad part that no one likes. But you will survive and figure a lot out about yourself along the way. If you and your BFF are no longer friends forever, there are things you can do to start to feel better again.
Realize That it’s Normal
It may not make it hurt any less to know, but drifting away from friends is a normal part of life. You are at a point in your life when you are figuring out who you are. You are exploring your interests and different things are important to you now. Maybe you guys don’t have a lot in common anymore, and that is okay. Realizing that friendship breakups are normal is the first step to feeling better. You don’t have to blame yourself or wonder what went wrong.
Stay Away from Blame
Your first instinct might be to blame your friend or blame yourself. Don’t do that. Nothing will be accomplished by sulking over a fight or saying mean things about your friend. If you were in the wrong, apologize and mean it. If she doesn’t forgive you, then don’t keep beating yourself up over it. Know that you tried your best to make it right and now it is time to let it go and hope for the best. If she did something to you, accept her apology. It is up to you to decide if the friendship is worth continuing. Don’t keep blaming her. It won’t make the mistake reverse in time and not happen. Let it go or let her go. Of course everyone deserves some time to feel hurt, but realizing where you are both coming from keeps you from hating her or hating yourself.
Find What is Important to You
If you and your BFF stop talking, that doesn’t mean you will never have another best friend. Instead try joining a club of something that really interests you. If you like running, take up track. If you’ve always imagined yourself on Broadway or in movies, try out for the school play. Even if it isn’t the coolest thing, as long as you enjoy it you’ll enjoy hanging out with the people that you meet. You might have a lot in common and you’ll be on your way to being great friends. If you and your friend drifted apart because you became interested in different things, then make the most of the bad situation. You don’t have to have everything in common with your BFF, but exploring things that you like is a good way to meet people you like.
Losing a friend is always hard, but blaming yourself and playing it over and over in your head won’t make you feel any better. Give yourself time to feel sad and forgive yourself and your friend. Once you begin to move on and focus on you, you will be able to look back on the friendship a little more clearly.