written by Stephanie Hernandez
Handling conflict can either make you look like a total spazz or as if you are cool, calm and collected. Whether you yell and scream at top of your lungs or excuse yourself to get your thoughts together, what you do says a lot about you. Are you curious to see what category of conflict resolution you fall under? Take the quiz and find out how you handle high pressure situations.
When confronting a problem with friends or family, which are you most likely to do?
a) You tend to keep your feelings and opinions to yourself.
b) You speak in a loud and demanding voice.
c) You use sarcasm.
d) You express your feelings clearly and appropriately.
Which of the following do you relate to the most?
a) “People never consider my feelings.”
b) “I’m right, you’re wrong.”
c) “Oh my god, I love you……..not!”
d) “I can’t control others but I can control myself.”
If a friend talks behind your back, you _____.
a) Hold in the pain and anger and wait for it to fade.
b) Confront and yell at them in front of everyone.
c) Spread a rumor about them.
d) Talk to them in private and tell them what bothered you, in a calm and respectful way.
When your parents tell you to clean your room, but you really don’t want to, you _________.
a) Clean while mumbling your frustrations quietly to yourself.
b) Scream to your parents and tell them you’re not doing it.
c) Tell them you are going to clean it in order to get them off your back, but the truth is you’re not going to do it.
d) Listen to you parents because you understand that your room should be cleaned.
When you witness someone being mistreated verbally, you ______.
a) Watch and hope that someone else stops the situation.
b) Get involved quickly and harass the abuser, because that’s what they deserve.
c) Know it’s wrong but don’t do anything about it, and you later tell your friends all about it.
d) Approach the situation in a calm matter and try your best to communicate with the abuser to calm them down.
If you answered mostly A.
You are passive.
Being Passive makes you avoid expression, opinions and/or feelings to those around you. You don’t do well with confrontations, and it means that you do not respond well to anger and tend to hold things in. This buildup of emotion can be harmful if you bottle it in, because it can get overwhelming and might lead to an outburst.
If you answered mostly B.
You are aggressive.
Being aggressive means you mostly care about your own feelings instead of others. Be careful with being aggressive because it may lead to disrespecting others without even realizing it. You tent to be confrontational, but sometimes you can be physically or verbally abusive to others for the sake of being right/feeling superior.
If you answered mostly C.
You are passive aggressive.
Being passive aggressive is a combination of being passive and aggressive. You do not like face-to-face confrontation, but you act out of anger in subtle and indirect ways — like being sarcastic or making back-handed compliments/comments (like indirectas).
If you answered mostly D.
You are assertive.
Being assertive is something everyone should strive to be. You are clear about your feelings and communicate them in a respectful way. You make your needs known without violating the rights of others.
Most people are a little passive, aggressive, passive aggressive, and assertive in different areas, but, in the end, most of us tend to lean towards one side a little more than the others. When handling conflict, always remember that you’re never alone. Talk to your parents or counselor for help.