The victims in family abuse cases often involve children, and recent studies suggest children carry the emotional trauma for life. It is here, in the United States, where the highest number of children reside in foster care. Teens who are sometimes completely forgotten when the system figures that they are of legal age, 18, and boots them out. According to the Children’s Bureau, Texas held 11,523 children in 2005 and reached an increase of 16,903 children in the fiscal year of 2011. The numbers continue to increase every 12 months (fiscal year).
Through the Adoption and Foster Care Analysis and Reporting System (AFCARS), the Children’s Bureau, Administration for Children and Families report of 2013, noted that 21% of the children in foster care were Hispanic and the White population held the largest percentage at 45%.
In 1989, at age one, I became a number in the system. I survived, managing to graduate college and become stronger because of it. Many children become runaways or poverty-stricken adults. My five other sister’s case never saw light. We spent a total of two and a half years away from our biological mother. There is that present realization that there exists a more prosperous possibility from turning my life around after returning home.
This is my story.
In 1990, foster care administration took my sisters and I from our home. People love to tell me that I could not remember that far back because I was 2 at the time, but asking my sister every year if it was a black lady with a white car who gently pulled me by hand, reinstates that I lived through the experience. My sister’s acknowledgement makes my experience more real.
My eldest sister, Liz, found the courage and capability to tell visitors that our father was sexually abusing all of us for the past 11 years. At the time, I could barely speak. For eight years my biological father abused all of us. I thank my sister for helping place a man in jail, but, more importantly, she eradicated future abuses.
It feels to me that our case received so little media attention; soon after we were taken out of our homes, it proved no better than when we left. My sisters were placed in pairs, Liz with Christine. Yvette with Ivy and, tragically, I was left alone with one verbally and physically abuse foster-mother, named Christina, and a rat-infested room alongside older white “brothers”.
In our case it seemed as though personnel took us out of harm’s way, but in our case, our conditions were worse than home life. Alternatively, it seemed. Yes, children become those “cases of sexual abuse in foster care” in which abuse was “more than four times higher than the rate in general population”, yet, ironically, the same risk of being with uncaring abusive “caregivers” became peril to our safety.
In foster care, we continued to live among boys and suffered constant sexual harassment and mistreatments from staff. I roomed with a 12-year-old boy, who tried to will my body to sleep on the top bunk while “Chucky,” the movie, played loudly in the dark room. It seems that personnel ignored family preservation and by chance took a horrific case, and made it unquestionably worse.
My experience was one of many that year.
Yes, parents are unprepared for the challenges of raising kids, but their parental obligations may soon become second nature. Protective services often offer counseling as a means to deal. Services offer the parents a chance for weekly calls, weekly all the while they do their part of making “check up calls,” in hopes of keeping the family unit safe. Counseling may serve as a therapy to understand a parents’ need to beat a child as an outlet for their anger.
Counseling programs during my time in foster care helped my mother understand that the victims were her very own children. I can recall her eyes moist with anger and frustration over the allegations of abuse. Therapy helped her make the right choice to process that the grotesque events did occur. She made a mission to leave father by placing a restraining order against him. I feel that counseling influenced my mother into acknowledging that those traumatic events really occurred, and she could see that we truly endured so much.
The protective services took the time to know us as people. They closely worked with my mother on a deeper level than a case number. It truly felt that the care system treated us as individuals, closely working with us to ensure a better placement. With years of counseling, my mental capacity to grasp the abuse serves as a reminder that I am finally where I belonged. The fights among other foster siblings would cease and the constraints of court orders and parental denials would cease. I returned to my own home with my real mother and sisters in 1993.
Compared to national statistics, reunification with parent(s) or Primary Caretaker(s) is at a high of 51%, with each case differing by situation. In fewer cases in the early 2000s, the young grew out of the system, age 18, and were thrown out to fend for themselves. In 2013, social services placed 3,717 children out of the system.
During the first year in my foster care stay, my physically abusive foster mother nearly came close to adopting me. This woman would slap me for not finishing a chile filled, hot bean tortilla in 3 bites. She would deny me water for days, resulting in me going to the hospital for liver damage. I was 2 years old. The “care” became worse, often resulting in lice filled heads, for my sisters and me. Though separated, my sisters let me know that they roomed with twelve other children, aged from 4 to 13, in one room. I grew terrified of large stuffed animals after the foster mother scared me daily with a big bear. I still hold that fear today, as silly as it may seem. It is no surprise that when one child got sick, another grew sicker!
Money to adopt a child elsewhere may help a child here more effectively. Lack of funding, care and hospitality failed us. My mother, sisters and I reunited when I was near death. To put it plainly, America may need to step back and adopt inside the U.S. By slowly focusing on the terrible cases, Americans may realize that there exists other means for family creations, here. Mandatory family preservation and therapy programs may help reduce a child’s erroneous placement in the system.
For more information on children living in foster care and how you can help, visit: https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/systemwide/statistics/childwelfare-foster/?hasBeenRedirected=1