Diary: I Confronted My Attacker

I was sexually assaulted by my father’s brother when I was eight years old.  I didn’t understand what he was doing to me at the time.  It wasn’t until I was a sophomore in high school that I told someone.  My secret was out FINALLY.  My family’s reaction was not what I expected.  They said mean and ugly things about me and called me a liar.  CPS investigators and counselors told my mom that this would be a very difficult situation for me because it happened so long ago and it was my word against his with no evidence.  We left it in God’s hands.  Talking to a therapist helped me to get over my fears and accept that not everyone is out to hurt me.

We went on with our lives and separated ourselves from that side of the family; it was actually a very peaceful time, no drama to deal with.  However, a year later, my worst fear came to be.  He had done it again.  One of the reasons why I spoke out was because I was afraid that he would do this to my cousins.  He had 3 stepdaughters and one biological daughter.  The oldest stepdaughter accused him of doing the same to her.  The DA had called my mom and told her that they wanted to use me as a witness in the case. I was sad that this happened but glad that he was going to go to trial.  I was ready to testify, no matter the backlash from the family.  I was ready to talk and it didn’t matter what they called me- I was not going to be silenced any longer.  As suspected, when the family found out that we had been called and were willing to participate, they started making threats.

The case was rescheduled many times and during one of those times I was about 7 or 8 months pregnant with high blood pressure. My mom and I decided to ask the DA to reschedule because we didn’t want to risk the health of my baby and mine.  Finally the trial was set for beginning of October 2011.  I was ready for what was going to happen and although I was very nervous, I knew testifying was the right thing to do. We had met with the DA and my mom had kept in contact with him and he told us of all the disturbing things my uncle had done to this little girl.  All the memories flooded back. I just wanted justice.  He had to pay.

I was only going to be used in the punishment phase of the trial.  When we walked in to court right before the verdict, I was shocked to see some of the family members that had claimed to “stand by me”, there supporting HIM.  I was very disappointed but that wasn’t going to stop me.  We sat there as they read each charge and the words “guilty” after each charge except one.  Finally justice had been served and my step-cousin and I had been vindicated.  October 4, 2011 I testified in front of the jury and my family during the punishment phase. Up on the stand, I was scared, but I told myself I had to be strong. The defense attorney tried to intimidate me, as is her job, but I stood strong.  Finally, I was done and at that moment I felt so relieved. I felt like I didn’t have anything to be afraid of anymore. I didn’t care what my family was saying about me because I know I likely saved other little girl’s innocence and I know I did the right thing.

The trial didn’t end that day. We had to wait for the jury to come back with his punishment.  A flood of emotions came over me when I got the call from my mom, ninety nine years! I was so happy because I knew he wasn’t going to hurt anyone anymore. I didn’t have to be afraid of him hurting me ever again. My family was still saying ugly things about me but that didn’t even matter anymore because I was raised to do the right thing. I feel like now I can talk to anyone about it without feeling ashamed. I will no longer be a victim, not his and not my families.  The DA told my mom that the jurors came to him after the trial and expressed their gratitude towards me for speaking out.  They appreciated my testimony and it made a big difference in their decision.  They wanted me to know that they all applauded me for being brave.  I will not be bullied and I will speak up against child molestation whenever I can.

Many girls are not able to speak up, but they need to know that there are many of us out there and there is no reason to be afraid or ashamed of the cowardly acts of these sick men.  We are the strong ones. I thank God for the family and friends that have stuck by me through this; it is because of that support that I am strong and able to tell my story.  My fiancé and I now have a little boy who is the joy of our lives.  I am in school and I am happy with the way my life has turned out.  I am moving on with my life and am finally at peace.

 

A Survivor Breaks the Silence

One out of five women is sexually assaulted at some point in her life. Most of the time, it’s a family member, friend or acquaintance that commit these horrendous acts.  Unfortunately, when I was eight, I became one of those statistics.  My uncle, my father’s brother, was the perpetrator.

When a child is at that innocent age, they don’t really know what’s right from wrong, good from bad. They trust their loved ones.  A loved one isn’t supposed to harm them, so how can it be wrong?  Then later, when they become aware that it is bad, the shame sets in.

I didn’t understand what he was doing to me at the time. I didn’t know what it was and why he was doing it to his own niece. I only distinctively remember three different occasions when it happened and those memories are so clear as if they happened to me yesterday. I never told one person in my life about the abuse, I acted like if it never happened, I guess to a point I tried to block it.  If I didn’t think about it, then it never happened; however, it was always there.

When I was a sophomore in high school, my boyfriend at the time and I were arguing about keeping secrets from each other. I told him that I had a really big secret that I’ve never told anyone before. He begged and begged me to tell him and I couldn’t tell him because I was so afraid of what he was going to think of me after and I didn’t know exactly how to tell him. To make it easy on me, I text him my big secret, my secret was out FINALLY.  He was the very first person I told. As scary as it was, the heavy weight that I had been carrying for 7-8 years had been lifted off my shoulders the moment I told him and I was relieved.

However, I still felt shame and was unable to tell my mom.  He was the one that told her. We asked to go to Starbucks and he got off with her as I waited in the car.  I’m sure she was pretty confused by all this and suspected another kind of surprise.  After he told her, she ran back to the car crying and as we both cried and hugged she told me she was sorry it happened to me. I can only imagine that this is a mother’s worst fear and my mother was living it.

When we went back home, my mom told my dad and then called my grandma and told her what I had just confessed to them and told her that we would be reporting it to the police.  The reaction my family had was not what I expected at all. I thought they would be supportive and not choose sides but I was completely wrong. They said mean and ugly things about me and called me a liar. I couldn’t believe what they were saying and I didn’t know why they would think I was lying. To them it was like I woke up that morning and decided to blame a family member for molesting me. After that day, my dad’s family and I didn’t talk.

A brief background on my uncle, he’s been in and out of jail most of his life.  He’s a drug user and wife beater. He has always disrespected my grandmother and has never held a job in his life.  His means of income is drug money, stuff he would steal and sell, and an occasional mechanic job.  However, this was the man that my family was defending while calling me a liar.  I had no reason to lie. I was raised with morals and values and have always respected my elders.  But in this case I was the bad one.

CPS, investigators and counselors were involved.  All of them told my mom that this would be a very difficult situation for me as is for most victims of sexual abuse. More so because it happened so long ago and it was my word against his with no evidence.  Already having to endure my family’s insults and drama they were causing, my mom decided not to go forward with the case, since there was no guarantee that anything would come of it.  Not wanting to cause me anymore pain and just wanting to move on, we left it in God’s hands.

My mom did insist that I continue seeing my therapist because before I spoke out, I was always lashing out at people and had anger problems to deal with.  My therapist helped me so much; I felt like my attitude changed, I felt like a new Anna was born. Talking to her helped me because I was always afraid of being alone with any man especially family members, my dad, uncles, cousins or grandpas. I felt uncomfortable, as if they were just staring at me, with that intent.  I was able to get over that fear and now I know that, although I have to be aware of people, not everyone is out to hurt me. I’m able to trust again.

Girl Power Fest (El Paso, TX)

For Immediate Release

Contact: Alicia Rascon
915-219-8554
latinitaselpaso@yahoo.com

CONFERENCE PROMOTES GIRL POWER, CONFIDENCE & LEADERSHIP
Girl Power Fest Encourages Local Girls With Speakers, Workshops, Booths & Entertainment

What: Girl Power Fest is a girl empowerment conference featuring inspirational speakers, interactive workshops and a teen resource fair on the topics of girl power, confidence, body image and leadership.

When: April 28 from 10:00 a.m. to 3:30 p.m.

Where: UTEP College of Business

Who: The event is hosted by the Latinitas Teen Leadership Institute & Women in Business Association and is open to girls 11 to 18 along with their mothers.

Why: The focus of the event is to encourage girls to build confidence, discover their voice, express themselves, promote healthy lifestyles and make wise decisions. Inspiring guest speakers will help girls learn about issues girls face and discover real solutions on how to overcome these challenges. The event will feature informative and inspirational workshops, guest speakers, panelists, booth fair and multimedia presentations led by local female leaders on topics such as body image, confidence, peer pressure, media literacy, leadership, healthy relationships, cultural identity and bullying. An information fair will highlight booths featuring community groups and local youth resources. Pre-teen and teen girls will discuss the challenges facing girls today and explore positive ways to deal with stress through hands-on creative expression activities revolving around poetry, acting, photography, art and song. Girls will also enjoy dance performances, a fashion show and music entertainment. The conference is led by the Women in Business Association and Latinitas along with a youth advisory board. A limited number of scholarship are available and group discounts may apply. Tickets are $5 in advance and $10 at the door. To register or for more information, email latinitaselpaso@yahoo.com or call 915.219.8554.

About WBA: The Women in Business Association strives to advocate equality for women in the workplace through awareness, activism, education and empowerment.  Members are informed about the culture of different business environments through a variety of different activities including seminars and community service.

About Latinitas: Latinitas is a nonprofit dedicated to empowering Latina youth through multimedia enrichment programs.  Latinitas helps local girls build confidence through creative multimedia expression.  Through after-school programs, workshops, conferences, camps and mentoring projects, girls gain a strong self-esteem and learn positive ways to express themselves through creative writing, photography, filmmaking, art, and more.  Latinitas youth members also publish LatinitasMagazine.org, the first digital magazine by and for U.S. Latina youth.

Careers: State Farm Agent

Crystal Martinez used her business and financial savvy to help others by opening up her own business as a State Farm Agent.  Her work involves meeting with clients and helping them plan insurance and financial services that meet their needs. She shares her experience starting her own business.

Position & Title: State Farm Agent
Employer: State Farm Insurance
Website: http://www.segurosdelpaso.com

What are some of your job responsibilities? I own and operate a State Farm Agency. As owner and operator, I hire and train my staff to market State Farm products and services to our community and the entire state of Texas. I have five employees right now and provide customer service to more than 1,000 households.

How did you find your current job? I’ve been doing insurance for more than 12 years now. After working for State Farm agents and management, I decided to open my own State Farm agency.

What did you do to prepare for this career? Once I decided to open my own business, I prepared myself financially. I paid all of my debt, saved money for my agency and cut my spending. State Farm offers a great training program which took me nine months to graduate from. With God’s help and my family’s moral support, on April 1, 2011 I finally opened my own business.

What is your favorite part of your job? I enjoy helping families with all of their insurance and financial needs. I discover their needs and help them realize their dreams with our insurance and financial products. It feels like an absolute blessing when I am able to help my community.

What is the most challenging part of your job? The most challenging part of my business is keeping a life-work balance. I am very passionate about what I do and sometimes neglect my health, family and friends. I am working on this daily.

What advice would you give to help a girl prepare for a job like yours? I would advise anyone who is looking to open their own business to first understand the business. If they just follow what they love to do, they will never see their career as a “job”.

What do you do for fun when you aren’t working?
I spend time with my family and the people that I love.

Poetry: Imagine a Girl

Imagine a GirlGroup of Latina teens

Imagine a girl that is bright. A girl that is always graceful and happy, a girl that is kind and loving.
Imagine a  girl like no other. A girl that is like a best friend. A girl who can help you when you’re bad. An honest young girl, a peaceful young girl A girl with a healthy body.
Imagine a girl like a sweet bear, a girl that is nice and cool.
Imagine a girl that respects herself. A girl like a queen, a nicely done girl.
A girl like you. Imagine it you.

Imagine a Girl by Evie Quinonez
Imagine a girl who loves to be a teacher a carrier that is perfect for her and her teacher. Who is hard headed and witty. Imagine a girl who is wonderful. Imagine a girl who respects other people and show be feminism to people. Imagine a girl who is delighted to be around a girl that smiles and loves to make you frown. Imagine a girl who is interesting a girl who is interesting and bright with a wonderful delight. Imagine a girl who is thought full to others and to you. Imagine that girl is you!

Imagina a Una Nina Por: Jennifer
Imagina una nina con modales. Una nina que repseta a los demás y se respeta asi misma.Imagina una nina que le ayuda a todos y los respeta. Una nina valiente que juega todos los deportes. Imagina una nina que siempre estudia. Una nina que nunca se da por vensida. Imagina una nina que ayuda a niños. Una nina que es amable. Imagina que es persona eres tu.

Imagine a Girl by Elizabeth Rodriguez
Imagine a Girl who looks out for others instead of herself
A girl who lives to inspire and not care what others may think about her.
She is an ordinary girl just like you. The difference is she believes she can do anything in the world.
Therefore, this girl is a role model.
Imagine a girl who is motivated by her dreams.
Who keeps chasing after them no matter how hard it seems.
She prefers not to fight so she gives out her toy.
When she has enough to share, she will do it as long as she feels that she is doing the right thing.
Imagine this girl as your guardian angel always there to help you when you most need her.

Imagine a Girl by Victoria Taylor Madrid
Imagine a girl who remains strong even despite anyhthing that gets in her way.
A girl who will not take no for an answer.
Who is ambitious and willing to pursue her dreams.
Imagine a girl with the heart of a puppy.
Who is tender and loyal and can make anyone happy.
Imagine a girl who does not rely on anyone but herself.
A girl who is responsible for all her actions.
Who is independent and free.
Imagine a girl is responsible for herself.

Fashionistas Inspire Girls in Benefit Fashion Show (El Paso, TX)

INSPIRING FASHIONISTAS FASHION SHOW
Fashion Show Supports Girl Empowerment Programs

For Immediate Release

Contact:
Alicia Rascon
915.219.8554
latinitaselpaso@yahoo.com

WHAT:  The charity fashion show features clothing for girls, teens and women.

WHO: This family-friendly event is hosted by Latinitas and designed to showcase female talent in El Paso.

WHEN:  March 25, 2012 from 3:00pm-6:00pm

WHERE: Always & Forever Ballroom (3333 N. Yarbrough)

WHY:  The charity event is aimed at supporting Latinitas, a nonprofit dedicated to the empowerment and advancement of local Latina youth. Guests will enjoy a fashion show, listen to live music, watch a video screening, view an exhibit of youth artwork, see dance performances and hear an inspirational guest speaker. Our emcee for the evening will be Channel 26-KINT News Anchor Karla Mariscal and our keynote speaker will be UTEP Professor Dr. Irasema Coronado. The fashion show is held in partnership with El Paso Fashion Week. All proceeds support the scholarship fund for Latinitas.

CONTACT: To request more information, please contact latinitaselpaso@yahoo.com or 915.219.8554.

 

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Latinitas College Bound (El Paso, TX)

Latinitas Hosts College Day to Prepare El Paso Girls for College

For Immediate Release

Contact:
Alicia Rascon
915.219.8554
latinitaselpaso@yahoo.com

WHAT: Girls ages 11-18 are invited to discover the importance of college and get an insider view of college.

WHO: The event is hosted by Latinitas and is open to girls ages 11-18

WHEN: February 25th, 2012 from 10:00am- 1:00pm

WHERE: UTEP

WHY: Girls are invited to discover the importance of college and get an insider’s view of college life in the Latinitas College Bound workshop. Girls will have an opportunity to tour the UTEP campus, meet college student mentors, attend workshops on the importance of education and participate in activities to start preparing for college.

HOW: To register, please contact Latinitas at 915.219.8554, latinitaselpaso@yahoo.com or www.LasLatinitas.org

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LATINITAS EL PASO NEWSLETTER – FEBRUARY 2012

INSPIRING FASHIONISTAS FASHION SHOW
March 25, 2012
Always & Forever Ballroom (3333 N. Yarbrough)
3:00 pm to 6:00pm
Fashionistas are teaming together to host a charity girl empowerment fashion show featuring clothing for girls, teens and women. Come enjoy a fashion show, listen to live music, watch a video screening, view an exhibit of youth artwork, see dance performances and hear an inspirational guest speaker.  The fashion show is in partnership with El Paso Fashion Week and all proceeds support Latinitas’ scholarship fund to help young Latinas reach their educational goals. For more information, contact us at 915.219.8554 and latinitaselpaso@yahoo.com.

 

 

 

 

Latinitas Recognized by Texas State Senate Proclamation

In honor of our 10th anniversary, the Senate of the State of Texas recognized Latinitas with the Senate Proclamation No 16 sponsored by Senator Kirk Watson. We are humbled by this great recognition of our 10 years of empowering young Latinitas.

“The tremendous work that you do for the community of Latinitas is known far and wide. You have given birth to a world-wide phenomenon which has taken hold of the hearts and minds of Latinas everywhere. To honor this special anniversary, I have sponsored and enclose for you, Senate Proclamation 16.

Whereas, This exceptional nonprofit organization has become an invaluable mentoring program for Hispanic girls; it began its work by publishing a digital magazine written by young Latinas so that they could tell their own stories and strengthen their self-esteem.

Whereas, Latinitas and its corps of volunteers have had a profound impact on the lives of thousands of girls; these girls have benefited from the encouragement and experience of their mentors, many of whom were the first in their families to graduate from college and joined the mentoring program to pass along their success; this exemplary organization is truly deserving of recognition for its many achievements and its work in the community; now, therefore be it

Proclaimed, That the Senate of the State of Texas hereby commend Latinitas on its exceptional work in mentoring young girls and extend best wishes for continued success as this outstanding organization celebrates its 10th anniversary; and, be its further.

Proclaimed, That the copy of this Proclamation be prepared for the organization as an expression of high regards from the Texas Senate.”

Thanks From Americas High School Career & Technical Education

On behalf of Americas High School Career and Technical Education Department, I would like to express our gratitude for your participation at our Second Annual Career Fair. You have played a big role in the enlightenment of our students as to the opportunities available to them outside the confines of our school. Your experience, knowledge, and expertise are very beneficial to them. This information will help them select a career field and in turn, make appropriate selections of courses for the next two years.