Advice: Boyfriend Edition

Dear Latinitas,

Why do guys say if we date more than one guy we’re easy.  But if they do it, they’re a player?


Dear Friend,

There are many views on this topic.  Both girls and guys have their own opinion.  Some say that guys like to have the satisfaction of being the only guy in a girl’s life and that they don’t want to share their girl with anyone else.  Some girls think that there seems to be some sort of competition to see who can get the most girls.  The same thing can be said by girls.  They don’t want to have to share their guy with anyone else.  I believe that it all has to do with the way we were brought up.  It’s a complicated issue and perhaps we will never find the proper answer.  Everyone has different views on it even though it isn’t correct to call someone easy or a player.

Dear Latinitas,

What do I say or do if my boyfriend isn’t matching his clothes, looking all ugly, and we’re going out on a date?

Dear Friend,

I believe that if he thinks what he is wearing looks good, then you shouldn’t have a say in it.  Maybe he’s starting a new trend!  If it bothers you though, you can always ask him if it’s okay to pick out a nice shirt for him every once in a while.  You can say, “you should wear this instead, I love how it looks on you!”  With this you will not sound like you’re trying to change his style and he will be happy that you think he looks well while wearing what you have suggested.  Don’t sweat the clothes, it doesn’t matter what he wears as long as you have a good time on your date!

Dear Latinitas,

How do you ask your boyfriend if he’s cheating on you?  How do you know they are saying the truth?  What do you do if they say yes?

Dear Friend,

First of all, you should have a very good reason to think he’s cheating on you.  If there aren’t any signs then I don’t think you should ask.  If you must ask though, just be straight out, simply ask, “Are you cheating on me?”  Be sure that you have a reason for asking.  When he answers, there is no certainty that he is telling the truth, you have to trust your instincts and most of all, you have to trust him.  If he says yes, I would advice you to end the relationship.  It isn’t worth being with someone who is not being honest.  I hope this helps, buena suerte, chica!

Boyfriend Advice: Letting Go

Preguntale a Julianna

Question:

Dear Latinitas, I was in a very stressful and unhealthy relationship for about a year and it was really my first serious boyfriend. We would do everything with each other, he would come on my family vacations, and my mom even got him a job in her office, where he still works today. I have talked about it with my family and friends and I fully understand that it was a very good decision to end things with him. He was very controlling, no goals in life, party guy, and a compulsive liar. Months and months have passed now and I just got a new boyfriend. He is the complete opposite, comes from a good well to do family, the most kind and caring person I have ever met and has huge career goals. Let’s just say he’s the perfect guy for me, no drama. The funny thing is that I sometimes miss the ex. I know that I’ll never go back to someone like that, but is it wrong to miss him?

Advice:

Dear Friend,

I have heard of many stories just like yours, where boyfriends and sometimes girlfriends too, are controlling and at times violent. Unfortunately, the person being controlled or abused are too afraid to put a stop0 to it. I am glad that you got out of your relationship and that you have family and friends to support you. I am also glad that you found someone new who treats you right. You are very lucky to have found someone like your current boyfriend, there aren’t many guys like that out there these days. I think that you find yourself missing you ex boyfriend because of all the memories you two share. You mentioned that you two would do everything together so it seems logical that you miss him, as long as your missing him doesn’t interfere with your current relationship. No boyfriend wants to know that their girlfriend is missing another guy, especially and ex boyfriend. It is hard to forget your first love, especially with all the time you spent together. The good thing is that you know you don’t want the kind of relationship you had with him. It’s important that you know what you want and that you find someone who shares similar interests, which I think you have already found. Good luck!

Best wishes,

Julianna

Preguntale a Julianna: Friendships

Dear Julianna,

People make fun of me sometimes because I try to do well in school. I want to succeed in life and buy nice things for my parents when I’m older. I’m only trying to make my life better. What can I do when I get teased about making good grades?

Dear Friend,

It is a great that you choose to do well in school. Hard work pays off in the end! I think the best thing you can do when being teased about your grades is to ignore the comments. You know your reasons for doing well and you do not have to explain yourself to anyone. Keep up the good work at school and soon enough you will accomplish your goal of making your life better.

Sincerely,

Julianna

Dear Julianna,

I have a friend who puts me down in front of other people. In private, she is like a best friend. I am not sure how to deal with, it but it makes me depressed. What should I do? What would you do if you were me?

Dear Amiga,

There is a saying, “With friends like that, who needs enemies?” I would definitely stop talking and hanging out with her. A friend should treat you the same everywhere in public and in private. If the situation is making you depressed, then perhaps you should talk to your friend. You can confront her and ask her why she treats you different in front of others. If the situation does not get any better, find new friends who will appreciate you and who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

Sincerely,

Julianna

 

Diary of a College Graduate

Latina College Graduate - Latinitas

Diary of a College Graduate: The End of a Five-Year JourneyFor the past five years, I have been a college student majoring in Spanish and minoring in Education. This May, my journey ended because I finally graduated and received my Bachelor of Arts at the University of Texas at El Paso (UTEP).

Looking Up to a Role Model
I was encouraged to pursue a college degree by my sister who has a degree in Bilingual Education and by my cousins who have received degrees in Business Administration and Psychology. They are my role models and I wanted to follow the example they set for me. When classes got tough, I always thought of them. I would say to myself, “If they were able to do it, so will I!”  I also thought of the statistics everyone talks about.  I wanted to be among the more than one million students to graduate college each year, and I wanted to increase the number of Latinos with a college degree.

The Start of My Journey
When I started college, one of the first big decisions I had to make was picking a major. After looking through all the different majors UTEP offered, I opted to choose a degree with the College of Liberal Arts. I decided to major in Spanish because I enjoy reading, writing and the culture behind the language. I chose to minor in education because it seems that not very many people in younger generations speak the language anymore. By teaching, I may encourage these younger generations to keep speaking and learning it.

Making the Transition to College
The hardest semesters were the first ones where I had to take basic courses, like history and science. I these big classes, I felt like students were just a number. Instead of working one-on-one or with a smaller group of students, professors mostly gave lectures and students. I had to learn to take the best notes possible to keep up with the lectures and to maintain a schedule to stay current with the readings from the textbooks.

Life During College
The next three years got a little better. I began taking writing and literature courses, which I was looking forward to. I had a great college experience. Each semester, I took four classes, and I worked part-time as a tutor at middle and high schools. I got the opportunity to learn about various topics such as linguistics, revising and editing, Latin music, women’s studies, theater, and even a new language, Portuguese. College offers a wide variety of courses that match just about every student’s interests.

Getting Ready for a Career I Love
During my student teaching, I confirmed my love in a future career as a bilingual educator.  I was assigned to teach four non-native classes which included about 100 students total.  Many of these students shared the same Mexican-American background with me and most of them grew up around Spanish speakers. However, when they started school, they decided to focus on speaking only English.  It was then that I realized that I wanted to try to make a change and I knew that wanting to teach Spanish was a good decision.

The End of My Journey
My graduation was on May 12th. I became the sixth person to graduate from college in my extended family. According to the UTEP website, my degree was one of the more than 2,500 degrees awarded during the commencement ceremonies.

College Tips from a College Graduate
According to the Website CollegeAndCareers.com, the average number of college graduates per year is 1,750,000, which is only 42 percent of students enrolled in college and 4-year universities. Of that 42 percent, only 19.2 percent are Latinos. The Latino population continues to grow each day which means that the younger generations have the power to increase graduation rates in the near future. It is a good idea to keep up a good grade point average (GPA) throughout high school, to begin applying for scholarships early and applying for grants.

Is College Worth It?
A college education can open doors for those who pursue it. A college degree is something to be proud of because it is a great accomplishment. Take advantage of every door that opens because all those opportunities will build up your success. All the hard work you put into your education will pay off in the end. Congratulations to all the graduates.

Preguntale a Julianna: Advice About Boys

Question: There is this boy I really like at school. I want to tell him I like him, but I’m scared he might not like me. What do I do?

Advice: How will the boy ever know how you feel about him if you don’t tell him? Don’t be afraid of what the answer may be. Tell him about your feelings towards him. Who knows? Maybe his response will be exactly what you are hoping for. If it isn’t, don’t sweat it! There are plenty of fish in the sea. The important thing is that you express your feelings.

Question: I really like this boy that lives in my neighborhood. His name is Pablo. What should I do???

Advice: You can ask him if he would like to hang out after school or during the weekend. You can say, “Hey since we live in the same neighborhood, would you like to hang out sometime?” It would be a great way to get him to notice you and a way to get to know him. Good Luck!

Question: I like this boy. I talk to him when my mom is not watching. She says not to talk to him. It’s just talking on the phone!!! What should I do so I could talk to him?

Advice: You should talk to your mom. Ask her why she doesn’t want you to talk to him. After hearing her answer, tell her about him. Share with her what kind of personality he has and why you like talking to him. Hopefully, she will see why you insist on talking to him over the phone and will allow you to continue talking to him.

Bullying Prevention

What is bullying? According to Webster’s dictionary bullying is the action of habitually being cruel or overbearing to someone who is smaller or weaker. Over the past few years, bullying has become a major issues in schools and on-line. It is something that I see frequently in the high school setting. Students do not see it as bullying; they see it as teasing and/or horseplay. They do not see that they are hurting the other person with their comments or actions. I often see students say the most negative things to each other. I see how they push and shove each other in the hallways on their way to class. During class I see how they make fun of each other by making jokes about their appearance. I see boys picking on girls to the extent that girls become uncomfortable around them. It is important to raise awareness about this issue. We should all work together to put an end to bullying. From observing students, I can conclude that in most cases, bullying occurs accidentally. Sometimes comments and aggressions are taken too far. It is up to any witness to call it to the person’s attention so that they can be aware that what they think is just another joke can actually be something hurtful. If you or anyone you know feels uncomfortable about someone else’s comments or actions towards you, speak up and let your voice be heard. April 21, 2012 is Day of Silence. It is a day of action in which students across the nation vow to take a form of silence to call attention to the silencing effect of anti-LGBT bullying and harassment in schools. For more information on Day of Silence of if you’re interested in vowing, visit http://www.dayofsilence.org/. Together we can put an end to bullying.

Advice: Preguntale a Julianna

Hispanic girl writingDear Latinitas,

My best friend has moved out of town. Before she left we used to hang out all the time, talk on the phone EVERY DAY and even had sleepovers. However, now we barely speak and let alone see each other. I’ve tried to keep our friendship alive, but I feel she’s not trying hard enough and I’m doing all the work. How should I tell her that I miss her and that I want to continue being friends? Or should I ust get another BF? HELP!

Dear Friend,

It is tough when you loose a close friend. Perhaps she is trying to adjust to her new school and to the people around her. Simply tell her that you miss her and that you want to continue being friends. Suggest talking on the phone during the weekend. Another option you may consider is using Skype or another type of communication through webcam, this way you will be able to see each other. The important thing is to tell her how you feel. Making new friends is always a good option but you don’t necessarily have to replace her.

Sincerely,
Julianna

 

Dear Latinitas,
There was this girl at school and she was new. I invited her to hang out with me and my friends. After the first day none of my friends liked her. What should I do? Hang out only with my old friend?

Dear Friend,
You are in a difficult and uncomfortable situation. You should not have to choose between your friends. You should encourage your friends to get to know your new friend before they decide they don’t like her. I suggest that you all continue to hang out together until she adjusts to the school and the students.

Sincerely,
Julianna

 

Dear Latinitas,
What do I do when my friends is mad at me for no reason and refuses to admit their mistake?

Dear Friend,
Give your friend some space. When they realize they made a mistake or when they get over whatever is making them mad, they will come around. Be patient!

Sincerely,
Julianna

 

Dear Latinitas,
What can I do when my friends are clingy?

Dear Friend,
The best way to confront any situation is by simply talking. Let your friends know how you feel. You can also encourage them to do things that interest them.

Sincerely,
Julianna

 

Dear Latinitas,
How can I stress out less?

Dear Friend,
Stress is something tough to deal with. Here are some tips on how to deal with stress:
-Don’t sweat the small stuff! – Figure out what is truly important.
-Work off stress- Go for a run, play a sport, read, etc.
-Just breath- Find activities that relax you such as mediation. They will help you clear your mind.
-Stay positive- Remember, we are our biggest cheerleaders, don’t loose faith in yourself.

For more tips go to http://www.studygs.net/stress.htm

Sincerely,
Julianna

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